As we all know, I’m a font of psychic faith and power. The stars speak to me, even when I’m trying to sleep or bore their voices out with a power drill. Hence the daily predictions beside the nav bar. I’ll maintain an archive of my wisdom here.
2/19/2017: Challenge yourself. See how much of the evidence you can shred in one hour.
2/18/2017: It’s not who you know, it’s how well you can blackmail them.
2/17/2017: Make a change. Turn casual cruelty into methodical, formally planned cruelty.
2/16/2017: Reach out to the Russian plants in your life. They’re going through a rough time.
2/15/2017: Take the edge off tragedy with a few of your favorite platitudes.
2/14/2017: It’s not real love until they lie under oath for you.
2/13/2017: Enjoy your freedom. Take yourself out to divorce court.
2/12/2017: Your Olympic dream is out of reach, but your Olympic nightmare is just beginning.
2/11/2017: They can’t convict what they can’t catch.
2/9/2017: Your neighbors know. They all know.
1/15/2017: Invest in bomb shelters.
1/14/2017: She’s not coming back.