See More Evil makes funny.
Dennard Dayle
Sometimes known as Blind Monkey.
Dennard Dayle is a Brooklyn-based superpredator, specializing in writing, comedy, and illegal pranks. He recently wrote How to Dodge a Cannonball, and you should read it. The fancy newspaper in New York called him “The new heavyweight in town.” Nice moment. Keep up with him at the very important newsletter Extra Evil.
He also wrote 100+ humor columns at 1900HOTDOG, a bunch of New Yorker articles, this sweet story in space, and his debut book Everything Abridged .
The new heavyweight studied “liking books” at Princeton and Columbia, where he spoke a great deal and learned very little. Now he teaches at Columbia for a MetroCard. He started See More Evil and its very important newsletter Extra Evil.
Books
- How to Dodge a Cannonball, June 2025, via Henry Holt.
- Everything Abridged, May 2022, via The Overlook Press.
Publications
- “You Love the Office,” The New Yorker, Upcoming.
- “My Cancer Beats Your Cancer,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, January 2025.
- “The Three Heresies,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, January 2025.
- “When Teamwork Doesn’t Work,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, December 2024.
- Insulting Two Species,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, December 2024.
- “Ludy vs. Ludy,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, November 2024.
- “A Children’s Story,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, November2024.
- “Enter the Peteverse,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, November2024.
- “Gepetto Snaps!,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, November 2024.
- “Skrrrrrrrrrt,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2024.
- “I Love You, and You, Not You, and You,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2024.
- “Take That, Us,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2024.
- “Fifteen Demerits,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2024.
- “Informational,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2024.
- “The Volcel Diaries,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, September 2024.
- “Pastor Jay Begins! To Drink!,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, September 2024.
- “This One Time in Boot Camp,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, September 2024.
- “Frei!,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, August 2024.
- “Buckle Up, Mortals,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, August 2024.
- “1900HOTDOLL!,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, August 2024.
- “Pour Your Misery Down on Meow,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, August 2024.
- “Batman Becomes Batman,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, July 2024.
- “Zordon Vult,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, July 2024.
- “Circle Four of Weeaboo Hell,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, July 2024.
- “Ft Robert Redford,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, July 2024.
- “The Kool Kids Korner,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, July 2024.
- “Listen to Elsa!,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, June 2024.
- “The Peeping Tom Podcast!,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, June 2024.
- “Listen to Elsa!,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, June 2024.
- “Why’s That Pokemon?,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, June 2024.
- “Make a Day Disappear,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, June 2024.
- “BZZZZZZZZ,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, May 2024.
- “Icarus’s Kids,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, May 2024.
- “Church of the Machine,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, May 2024.
- “They F*** Up The Russia Joke,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, May 2024.
- “You’ve Got Time,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, April 2024.
- “Doctor Funkenstein,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, April 2024.
- “Casting Matters,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, April 2024.
- “Marihuana,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, April 2024.
- “Ruin Life Tactics,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, April 2024.
- “Jeepers,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, March 2024.
- “Advanced Solo Death,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, March 2024.
- “Where One Tax Dollar Actually Goes,” in The New Yorker, March 2024.
- “True Romance,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, March 2024.
- “C is for Cope,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, March 2024.
- “Enter Through the Gift Shop,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, February 2024.
- “Pencils Out,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, February 2024.
- “Enter Through the Gift Shop,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, February 2024.
- “Two People in a Box,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, February 2024.
- “The Secret of Our Secret Romances,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, February 2024.
- “All Primate Entertainment,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, January 2024.
- “New Developments in Russology,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, January 2024.
- “Asmodean Ethics,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, January 2024.
- “I Take Off My Robe and Wizard Hat,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, January 2024.
- “PETA’s Cage Fight,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, January 2024.
- “Haunted Vigilante Improv,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, December 2023.
- “The Rational Blunt,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, December 2023.
- “Your Cat is Going to Hell,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, November 2023.
- “Roundhouse Utopianism,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, November 2023.
- “Dramatic Injury,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, November 2023.
- “Discipline Equals Failure,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, November 2023.
- “Curse of the Wooden Flower,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2023.
- “Empty Thoughts on Full Balls,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2023.
- “Fifty Opinionated Enemies,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2023.
- “Detention’s Favorite Cartoon,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, September 2023.
- “Weird America,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, September 2023.
- “A Big Bad Christmas,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, September 2023.
- “Game On NYPD,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, September 2023.
- “The Drug War USO Show,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, August2023.
- “Swerving Into Traffic,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, August 2023.
- “Why Ecocide is the Perfect Revenge On Our Children,” in The New Yorker, July 2023.
- “The Society of Classical Poets,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, July 2023.
- “Game On NYPD,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2023.
- “Game On NYPD,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2023.
- “It’s Filler Time,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, June 2023.
- “Profiling the Profile Writer Profiling Me,” in The New Yorker, May 2023.
- “I Will Not Board a Plane to Visit Your Baby,” in The New Yorker, May 2023.
- “/v/ the Musical” in 1-900-HOTDOG, May 2023.
- “Kindly Return My Client’s Sweatshirt” in The New Yorker, April 2023.
- “Public Displays of Assimilation,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, April 2023.
- “Lore After Lockup,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, March2023.
- “Why I Left New York, and Returned With an Army of the Dead,” in The New Yorker, February 2023.
- “Naked Contempt,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, February 2023.
- “The CCP Rap,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, January 2023.
- “Skateboarding After the End,” in The New Yorker, December2022.
- “Vegemorphs: The Punishment Due,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, December 2022.
- “The Ninja Tech Support Manual,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, November 2022.
- “Gene Simmons’s Disowned Jewels,” in 1-900-HOTDOG, October 2022.
- “Crime is Awesome And So Am I” in 1-900-HOTDOG, September 2022.
- “Guidelines Following First Contact,” in The New Yorker, August 2022.
- “Dragging Lovecraft” in 1-900-HOTDOG, August 2022.
- “What Would the Founders’ Fathers Think,” in The New Yorker, July 2022.
- “A Time Line of My Arrest” in The New Yorker, June 2022.
- “Punching Day: Sandman vs. Sabu” in 1-900-HOTDOG, June 2022.
- “The History of Group Projects” in The New Yorker, May 2022.
- “Upsetting Day: Don’t Date Writers” in 1-900-HOTDOG, May 2022.
- “Bipolar Tendencies,” in The Baffler, May 2022.
- “The Crypto Constitution,” in The New Yorker, May 2022.
- “Upsetting Day: Insurrection!” in 1-900-HOTDOG, April 2022.
- “I’m Resigning to Chase the Black American Dream,” in Slackjaw, April 2022.
- “A Word From Our Pet Reactionary,” in Slackjaw, March 2022.
- “A Letter of Romantic Recommendation,” in The New Yorker, March 2022.
- “Dear Ethicist, I’ve Planted Two Bombs,” in The New Yorker, February 2022.
- “Survey: What Exactly is CRT,” in The New Yorker, February 2022.
- “The Cure For White Replacement,” in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, February 2022.
- “Dear [School], Here’s My Soul in 600 Words or Less,” in The New Yorker, December 2021.
- “I, The Spirit of Christmas, Cannot be Stopped,” in The New Yorker, December 2021.
- “We’re Bluehost, and We Hope You Die,” in Slackjaw, November 2021.
- “Eight First Impressions of a Time Traveler,” in The New Yorker, October 2021.
- “Categories of Guy Eliminated by Quarantine,” in Points in Case, March 2021.
- “Nine Sharp” in Whiteness at Work, August 2020.
- “Own Goal” in Clarkesworld, June 2020.
- “We Apologize for Publishing Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation,” The Hard Times, June 2020.
- “United States Presidents vs. Swamp Rabbits,” in Points in Case, April 2020.
- “Could You Make This Novel a Bit Blacker?,” in Points in Case, November 2019.
- “PhiloMania,” in no.2, July 2019.
- “RE: The Restless Dead Haunting the Office”, in Points in Case, April 2019.
- “Survey: How Do You Feel About Being Black?,” in Points in Case, February 2019.
- “As a Walking Demographic, Here’s My Opinion,” in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, November 2018.
- “Kenichi and the Wolves” in Fairy Tales and Folklore Re-imagined, November 2017.
- “The New Romance,” POSTblank, August 2017.
- “Recent Activity” in Matchbook, July 2017.
- “Xbox Live Community Proudly Announces New Slur” in The Hard Times, October 2017.
- “Liberty Points” 4th Place NewBookBay short fiction contest winner.
- Stuff Here, 2010-Now
Press
- “Putting (Dopey) Words in the Mouths of New York’s Mayoral Candidates,” The New Yorker, October 2021.
- “New York Mayoral Race Nears Contentious End,” New York Magazine, June 2021.
- “Why the New York City mayoral primary results are as messy as the race itself was,” NBC, June 2021.
- “Exploring “fraudulent artifacts” as form” Alina Stefanescu, July 2018.
- “Group posts fake depressing subway alerts around NYC” NY Post, March 2018.
- “‘You’ve Already Broken Me,’ Poster From Fake MTA Chief Says” Patch, February 2018.
- “A fake MTA Poster at 14th St. Announces Chairman Joseph Lhota’s Resignation“, AM New York, February 2018.
TV Appearances
- Nihilistic mock subway service signs satirize MTA woes, News 12, 2018
- Interview, Chasing News, 2018
Required Reading
- “Own Goal” – My personal favorite out of my short stories.
- “Only the Good” – The silver medalist.
Contact
Alleged Alter-Egos
There’s a conspiracy theory about that Dennard Dayle maintains a number of fraudulent alter-egos. This is slander. The following are respected co-contributors.
Blind Monkey
An immature vandal and iconoclast. To be ignored.
Ruby Coen
A poet that dispenses with the outdated notion that poetry has to be good. Her simple drawing, simpler prose, and borderline nonexistent message allows her poems to be felt instead of thought. Thinking is hard, and hard things feel bad.
Amadeus Vult
A black white nationalist fighting a three-front war against democracy, the enlightenment, and colors darker than sepia.
Prof. Roland Mentat
A leading expert on all things that may have happened at any point.
I’m a freshman at Princeton. Just discovered this. It’s awesome. But where are people like this at Princeton? It’s like I’m in some kind of apocalypse movie, where you never totally see the other bands of survivors but you know they’re out there from signs they leave along the route. Except instead of survivors, I’m looking for video game fans/comic book geeks. I’m fucking Will Smith right now. Here’s my first radio broadcast.
This is like the Justice League of writers.
Well done
If “The Sellout” was worthy of the Man Booker Prize, “Everything Abridged” is worthy of a Nobel. It would have my vote, anyway. Hilarious start to finish, in the jaded, snarky way that it had to be in these times. One question: how can somebody born in the Bronx consider himself “Jamaican-American?” Or do I have bad information? Just curious.
Thank you! As for the origin story, both my parents are from St. Anne, and many second-generation Americans hyphenate to sound cooler. It’s that or learn to skateboard, and I don’t have the balance for it.
Glad the hyphenate isn’t mandatory. Given my own parentage, I’d have to list as Texan-American. Suicide by skateboard would be preferred.