2012 in Verse


The mighty Quetzalcoatl is late
I acted assuming his arrival
I’ve committed crimes in every state
Stole the lives and women of my rivals
I drank until I sealed my liver’s fate
Ignoring all thoughts of my survival
Two thousand thirteen will surely be rough
The law and my body have had enough


I just had the best idea ever
Let’s send unmanned death robots into
The most unstable region and sever
Any chance at peace with those within who
Recall the time we blew up whomever
And cover the road to peace in sinew
Why isn’t anyone in here cheering?
I was told that this crowd was god-fearing

Gangnam me Maybe

Shut the fuck up. It was never funny
Shut the fuck up. It was never that cute
Shut the fuck up. They just want your money
Shut the fuck up. It’s a play to get loot
Shut the fuck up. You idiots stun me
Shut the fuck up. Or your life is now moot
Keep worshipping pop music this shoddy
I swear that they’ll never find your bodies

Greek Tragedy

After banks cried out for austerity
Greece bent over and took a harsh lesson
There is no shortcut to prosperity
And loan sharks are not known for affection
Foresight and financial dexterity
Can save you from a banker’s erection
Monopoly and Risk are not two games
Today they are in fact one and the same

Hurricane Sandy

Sitting in my basement with no power
Holding a lantern and outdated book
I was free from the ivory tower
Where braking decorum earns you sour looks
When dragged back I cursed shouted and glowered
Then punch bit and stomped until the Earth shook
Returning to Princeton with clarity
I find nothing there but a parody


Here comes the new king, same as the old king
Option two was The Smiler’s twin brother
A lying doll pulled by corporate strings
That he almost won still makes me shudder
And makes me wonder what the new year brings
I see hate they don’t bother to cover
A hangover followed me to the poll
I drank to forget we all pay the toll


When trapped alone on a locomotive
The chatter in your car might drive you mad
You might kill a man with no clear motive
For babbling about the latest fad
And stand with a wide grin most emotive
As the judge’s gavel strikes the wood stand
When reporters wail, gnash their teeth, and shout
Tell them there’s no reason not to lash out

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