If the old “Lyrics Slaughterhouse” segment demonstrated one thing, it’s that Katy Perry needs to have her vocal chords revoked. But that’s not important right now. If it demonstrated a second thing, it’s that I’m not the biggest fan of pop music. It’s not necessarily pop music’s fault, the problem could be on my end. Perhaps it’s something in my DNA. I could simply be missing the gene that let’s someone hear Chris Brown’s voice without punching a wall.
Still, I like to think that pop music and I have a civil relationship. Sometimes we make deals. For example, this year I stopped mailing radio stations anthrax in exchange for The E.N.D flopping. Diplomacy is the heart of survival, and we both do what is necessary. Now, I simply have one term to add to our contract. I’d call it a new rule, but Bill Maher is the most annoying man on television.
Pop songs may no longer use the word “tonight.”
Using tonight as lyrical glue is predictable, lazy, predictable, cheesy, and really damn predictable. It’s become the de-facto filler word in songs about nothing. Filling awkward beats left by clumsy writing with “tonight” doesn’t fix the problem, it just highlights the fact that it’s there.
I’ll start with one of Pitbull’s more famous tragedies, “Give Me Everything.” The chorus has Ne-Yo crooning the following:
Tonight I will love love you tonight
Give me everything tonight
For all we know we might not get tomorrow
Lets do it tonight
I will love love you tonight
Give me everything tonight
For all we know we might not get tomorrow
Let’s do it tonight
Let’s do it tonight
Grab somebody sexy tell ’em hey
Give me everything tonight
Give me everything tonight
Give me everything tonight
Give me everything tonight
Pitbull get’s in on the fun in the pre-chorus:
Excuse me but I might drink a little more than I should tonight
And I might take you home with me if I could tonight
And baby, I’ma make you feel so good tonight
‘Cause we might not get tomorrow
Since Pitbull is technically a rapper (I’m feeling generous), I assumed that the lyrics would switch it up at least once. As usual, I was wrong. I’ll learn eventually.
“Hey Soul Sister” by WhoGivesAFuck is the worst recent offender in my eyes. It dangles the pause in front of me. It makes me pray that the band will come up with something more creative. Then it spews the same shit out in that oh-so precious ukulele-backed vocal tone that makes me envy the deaf. At least the Pitbull song was ostensibly about living for a specific moment. In “Hey Soul Sister”, it’s just lazy.
Then there’s “Tonight, Tonight”, where it’s the word is title and chorus. It hurts a little more every time.
These are just three examples off of the top of my head. I could write an academic paper on this drek if I wanted to. Instead I’d like to politely (fine, mean-spiritedly) ask songwriters to stop using this word like lyrical cement. It doesn’t work.
PS: As long as we’re on the subject of pop music, please stop playing “Call Me Maybe”. I’m not even mad anymore. Just disappointed.