Today’s Fortune: Keep a photo of the office nearby, as inspiration when stuck with family.
Missouri banned pulling out.
Bitcoin plummeted to eighty times its worth.
Kavanaugh protesters were sentenced to keg duty.
Doctor Strange teamed up with a billion dollars.
US Lobbyists relocated to the Vatican.
Don’t look at your portfolio.
Gag Comics are thriving, and I welcome it. I devoured more webcomics in my day than a functioning anything should. Now I’ll just bide my time until high-concept Warren Ellis knockoffs are back in vogue…
I’m not doing a jig on NFT scams’ graves. I’m breakdancing. It’s an airflare party. I’m doing side flips from ponzi headstone to headstone.
Obviously, there are several other genres of crypto scam, and NFTs could bounce back any minute. But I got to watch dozens of digital corsairs go to the gallows at the same time. And it feels good.
Grading papers is glacial. Unless you’re a very good or very bad professor. Sadly, I’m trapped in mediocrity.
I had a great group of kids. I look forward to taking credit for their accomplishments.
Who’s coming to my book launch? You are.
Get a preview of Everything Abridged over in The Baffler. It’s funny.
My 1-900-HOTDOG article put an end to racial strife in America. It’s about the dumbest/most brilliant book on race put to print.
Turns out this op-ed parody of mine was from the near future. Enjoy that.
The culmination of my dreams or whatever comes out on the 24th. You can read it, I guess.
I’ll peel back the curtain a bit: the next stunt is tied to the book. Because as much as I dislike Eric Adams, I like myself more. It’s also one of my funniest yet, which helps.
The timing of the video business is pretty much out of my hands now. I’ll let you know if/when it comes to exist, or collapses into stardust.
One Sentence Reviews
Space Jam 2: America’s Corinthian pillar. (1/5)
Space Jam 2: The original wasn’t good enough to warrant the attempt. (1/5)
Space Jam 2: I love The Iron Giant less now. (1/5)
Space Jam 2: If you had to do this, it should have been a tournament of multiple franchises as basketball teams, with a real player appended to each world. (1/5)
What would your campaign slogan be?
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