Today’s Fortune: Try that Occupy bit again. It had potential.
Gun sales declined negative ten percent.
Finland’s applying to the loud table that raps during lunch.
The month of warmup fireworks has begun.
Shanghai returned to standard repression levels.
Texas’ deplatforming law got shadowbanned.
An nascent terrorist bought an automatic door.
Week two of being an author. Turns out authors play a lot of Elden Ring. When fall rolls in, I’ll gently nudge my students toward the FromSoft addiction that fuels my work.
I still haven’t had a proper celebration. I’m a big believer in benders for milestones, but I’ve been Gobi-dry since Everything Abridged launched. Just dodge rolls and comic books.
Maybe this is what celebration looks like when you’ve settled down. Maybe I’ll wake up in Nevada the next time I touch a bottle of Strega. We’ll see.
Jogging’s good for me. Jogging works knee back into shape. Jogging’s ideal for my area. Jogging gets me through history podcasts. Jogging’s so boring I want to run into the river every time.
I found a love letter I wrote in 2021. I kid thee not, fair reader. A middle-school missive from a man with a scam LLC the same week. It’s a wonder I can tie my shoes without drowning.
I never sent it, which must have benefited that relationship’s lifespan. To say nothing of my psyche. I’d rather not understand a break than think “It was that stupid letter.”
The logic behind it seems alien now. I’d have an easier time decoding Enigma transmissions. I hope it’s maturity, instead of the emotional equivalent of losing my hearing.
I’m having a microchip installed in my spine. It’ll explode if I start anything with “my heart” again.
…That joke definitely means it’s the hearing thing. Ah well.
I tend to cook three meals on loop. I’m sure that, and only that, made last year feel like an anime filler arc.
My book/purpose in this world is out.
Fun fact:There Is No CIA.
This should be real in about a month.
My second 1-900-HOTDOG article is the most fun you can have with the ashen remains of fratire.
Pick my brain in this Clarkesworld interview.
Get a taste of my book in The Baffler.
Still working on that video project. We’ll see how the powers that be like it.
I have some stuff in the pipeline at 1-900-HOTDOG and The New Yorker that I’m very proud of.
Editing a loving tribute to my friends in the NYPD. Minimal references to pork, pork products, or vestigial limbs. Yup.
I should probably write another book.
One Sentence Reviews
King of Spies: What if Jimmy’s Bastards sucked? (2/5)
AEW: Double or Nothing: I smiled, laughed, or gaped through every second of “Anarchy in the Arena.” (4.5/5)
Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness: Sam Raimi has fun. (3.5/5)
Tig Notara – Boyish Girl Interrupted: Turns way up just over halfway through. (4/5)
What is worst in life?
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