Extra Evil: The Flammable Sky

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Today’s Fortune: Look down, look down, don’t look them in the eye.


Americans enjoyed the last Fourth of July.

Someone beat EA to an NFT game console.

Salt Lake City is now just City.

Coups became a cultural touchstone.

BA.5 knows it can be a star if it believes in itself.

The White House and oil barons entered couple’s counseling.

War Journal

The call of the void is loud this week, in a fun way. For some reason, I’m stuck on funny things I could say to kill my career. It’s a nice pastime, but I’m worried I’ll find an answer too good to pass up.


I like aging. Every problem in my personal life was harder to contend with without patience, triceps, and a credit card. I know that returns on time implode at 40, but I’ll take 30 over every number before it.

My perspective might be bent, since I have no real sense of nostalgia. From my seat, the only difference between class reunions and cult meetings is that cults get slicker uniforms. Princeton’s had a particularly strong Jordan Peele aura.


I’d like to thank role-playing games for making the endless numbers behind fitness fun. I’m enjoying myself much more than I should be, despite abandoning flavor as a concept.


For those wondering if I’ve killed myself skateboarding yet: almost, but not quite. So far I’ve only got basic tic-tacs, manuals, and a spin I don’t know the name of. All thanks to a dear friend with more patience than sense.

The Present

My book is still better than love.


I put out a very uplifting piece about running.


I taught hot dog fans about Sabu.


Weeaboo Hell? Alive, if not well.


Another bonus article.

The Past

I laugh at a lot of my own jokes, but particularly hard at this one.

The Future

My fourth Hot Dog column is a joke gatling gun.


The New Yorker bought something else of mine, for some reason.


I corrected a very, very stupid error in my next book.


Brainstorming pranks. I should quit, but you know how madness goes.

One Sentence Reviews

The Kreutzer Sonata (Tolstoy): An incel rant by a genius, with too much rant and not enough genius. (2/5)

Sam Morill – I Got This: A direct reminder of charisma’s comic value. (4/5)

Sam Morill – Up On The Roof: A better documentary than his documentary. (4.5/5)

Open Question

What tattoo should I get?

Signing off

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