Blade
Wesley Snipes makes vampires cool again. Look where that got us.
Blade 2 & Trinity
Every possible camera angle for stabbing a vampire is used and reused.
Spider-Man
Peter Parker cries.
Spider-Man 2
Peter Parker cries like a small child.
Spider-Man 3
Peter Parker jazz dances.
Hulk
HULK SMASH AUDIENCE INTEREST
The Incredible Hulk
HULK SMASH STORY STRUCTURE
X-men
Privileged Westchester students crush the revolution.
X2
The more serious events get, the sillier Magneto’s helmet becomes.
X-Men: The Last Stand
You don’t need me to mock this.
X-Men, First Class
Magneto is right. The script fails to notice.
Man-Thing
Did you remember this movie? Me neither.
Ghost Rider
Nicholas Cage is the only one in the room having fun.
Iron Man
A weapon manufacturer redeems himself by developing the ultimate weapon.
Iron Man 2
A Russian caricature feeds a bird vodka before being crushed by the power of capitalism.
Daredevil
As bad as we thought a superhero movie could get.
Elektra
We were wrong.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Really wrong.
Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer
As wrong as wrong could be.
Howard the Duck
Proof positive that the gods have abandoned this world.
The Punisher
Makes an art out of missing the point.
Punisher: War Zone
I am the only person on Earth that enjoyed this.
Thor
The triumph of brute force over planning and wit.
Captain America
Steroids are the engine of freedom.
The Avengers
A movie that has, without existing yet, single-handedly ruined the ending to Captain America.