It seemed like a coincidence at first. I’d just finished cleaning my favorite carbon steel trench knife on the walk home from work. The job’s stressful, and cleaning my knives […]
Author: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)
Please Install Our App
We’re glad you’re enjoying our website. We worked pretty hard on it. You know what we worked harder on? The app. Please install it. It has all of the site’s […]
Ruby Coen Becomes Poetry, Which She Always Was
The saga continues.
A Foolproof Solution for Climate Change
The United Nations has politely reminded us of the impending collapse of civilization. Rough news. There’s no easy way to tell everyone they’re going to die, so I admire them […]
Ruby Coen Saves Poetry, Which She Invented
There’s an exciting new generation of narcissists redefining poetry. All of them owe a cosmic debt to Ruby Coen, inventor of poetry and executive producer of heartbreak. Signing her to See […]
My Dungeons and Dragons Character Class Exonerates Me
I stand accused of burning down the 23rd St. Shake Shack on August 23, 2013. I do not dispute that the arson occurred. The ashen husk of the burger franchise […]
“We’re Hiring”
I’m sympathetic to the executive branch’s struggle. So I’ve written, printed, and mass-mailed a few posters to help. -Blind Monkey
The Perfect Birthday Gift.
Another birthday. I could tell you about all my personal growth, if I was a liar. I hold myself to a higher standard. Over the last year, I have learned […]
We Can’t Judge Brett Kavanaugh by the Arsons of His Youth
I’ll be the first to admit that blocking Merrick Garland’s nomination was a disgrace. American discourse may never recover from the descent of Supreme Court nominations into partisan politics. That […]
Friendwall is Your Friend
Facebook isn’t the only company on an apology tour.