Today’s Fortune: Run.
I binned six pages of golden Senator Oz jokes.
The lottery taxed hope.
Election traffic kept CNN’s lights on.
Twitter made the “hellsite” nickname aspirational.
An experiment in uncontrolled reentry led to uncontrolled reentry.
The Red Wave filled a kiddy pool.
I wonder if I can say anything about the elections that would surprise you. Subscribing means you’ve read or heard something by me at some point, and my politics leak into my work with the subtlety and grace of a stake driver. I could pretend to spiral into antisemitic madness, but I’m not trendy enough.
Last month, a date explained to me that restaurants play song covers to avoid paying full price for the original. Fair enough. I don’t see why every song for two hours had to be a wistful ukulele cover. That shtick should have been left behind with American optimism. I don’t need a ukulele version of Fuel blaring while a trauma surgeon tries to trauma bond.
Just to follow up on my spinal drama: I feel fine, and physical therapy’s in the last lap. I’m back to spiking my body against the wall for entertainment, and my bones are back to weeping in silence.
I left my favorite mayor a gift in The New Yorker.
You probably want more election content,here’s my latest collab.
Try an unprecedented story about the unprecedented.
Everything Abridged makes the sun shine brighter.
I wonder if Gene Simmons’s daily name search has shown him this article yet.
Remember my fun afternoon with the NYPD?
Uploading the video. YouTube’s being YouTube about it.
This book is destroying my sleep schedule and mind. You’ll love it.
Shopping something around.
Outlining a prank. I’m starting to suspect I’ll never mature.
One Sentence Reviews
Soap or Die: We live in a strange world. (3/5)
The Death of Stalin: Gunshots as perfect punchlines. (5/5)
Have you voted yet?
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