October had two sci-fi blockbusters, and Dune was the good one. Mostly because its hero learns space magic from his mother without anyone throwing anything. This is the wildest concept in sci-fi history, especially when we consider the alternatives: Mom 1: Good try, sweetums. We might die nameless and mutilated […]
Tag: satire
The Idiot Renaissance
For ages, The Idiot labored under the fell weight of reality. How many years? None can say, because counting them would be boring. It might have been one, or a hundred, or eleventy billion. All his life, the cruel yoke of knowing stuff hung from the idiot’s neck, holding him […]
Could You Make This Novel a Bit Blacker?
Every now and then I grace another page with my light. This time its Points in Case, with a piece about my wholesome relationship with literary management. Read it here.
Recaps of the The Masked Singer’s Final Season
S13E01: Duets. Monkey and Buffalo sing Like a Virgin. S13E02: Robin Thicke disappears between Sea Lion’s cover of Toxic and Raccoon’s cover of Crazy Train. He returns with a pallid color and a small bottle of pills. S13E03: Horse performs Cult of Personality without council approval. It is Horse’s last […]
Meanwhile on Points in Case
I’ve got a new article up on Points in Case. Reading it cures most forms of modern and postmodern malaise.
This Relationship Doesn’t Bring Me Joy
You were right: I’ve been closed-minded. After you donated a stack of my late aunt’s books to make space, I finally understand the value of tidying up. Sadly, I’ll be getting rid of more than my old Meshuggah CDs. For years I’ve been like the bull-headed curmudgeons on tv, stubbornly […]
The Dollar Shave Club Pivots
FADE IN: Dramatic music swells. A mixed couple walks down the street, discussing nothing in particular. NARRATOR We’re better than this. A woman in a hijab uses a vending machine. A lone tear rolls down a patriot’s cheek. NARRATOR We can’t keep letting this happen. A black teenager exists, unshot. […]
My Expenses Since New York Legalized Nunchucks
Nunchucks, Foam – $26 Groceries – $90 MetroCard – $130 Nunchucks, Wooden – $37 Pro-Chucker’s Guide to Chucking, by Andy “Shinobi Zero” Leeman – $12 Rite Aid Home First Aid Kit – $19 Bathroom Mirror Repair, $253 Phone Bill – $110 Nunchucks, Metal – $55 Pro-Chucker’s Chuckin’ Gloves – $22 […]
How to Save White America
Racial tension today isn’t about the character of white, black, or chartreuse people. It’s about market share. The ratio of white to non-white Americans is changing, and few of us have figured out how to adjust beyond electing demagogues and pretending Dear White People is watchable. I should, according to […]
Albums of the Year Lists, Decoded
10) The Rumor: This artist opens half the other lists, but you can’t find them anywhere else. You’d think it was a prank, but none of these people have met. Nonetheless, it all smells like a conspiracy.9)The Old Guard: The latest, and likely final, effort of an aging artist. The […]