Extra Evil – Affluenza Outbreak

Subscribing to Extra Evil conquers the spire.

Today’s Fortune:  Only you can save us now.


Southwest Airlines earned this month’s hara-kiri joke.

AI priests and prophets entered beta.

NYU Langone sorted patients by caste.

Teen detectives pulled a rubber mask off George Santos.

The Supreme Court jumped right of Neil Gorsuch.

Webb images will soon change our understanding of desktop backgrounds forever.

Today’s Mood

War Journal

There’s a long, straight, parkside stretch of road near my apartment. Runners love it. Cyclists love it. Drag racers love it.

All fun traits individually. Together? The headlines might not be inspiring. It’s a good place for a jaywalker to meet God.

Hopefully it’s not me. It really is a nice run.

I used to spam prayers to the effect of “I wish it would snow every Christmas.” If there’s anything listening, this frozen coastline’s all my fault. Sorry.

Called shot: we’re getting a melodramatic cover of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” in a movie trailer before 2025.

Maybe I’ll try a resolution this time.

From the bleachers, I’ve watched the sleepless project output and steroid intake  of the Rock. like most civilians, I’ve been impressed.

And I’ve wondered: what would it be like to try that hard? To lift me-sized objects for hours. To listen to Kevin Hart screech for hours at a time. To stare into a camera, and call Black Adam a success.

And my inner hero says “Fuck that.”

But why not a quarter?

Twenty-five percent of the multi-tasking. Twenty-five percent of the exercise. Twenty-five percent  of the toil in the infinite black mine of media.

I call it the 1/4 Rock Plan. I’m committed, and I’m giving it one hundred percent. Divided by four.

The Present

The dystopian author’s strike marches on.

Here’s a countdown of my best five 1-900-HOTDOG volleys.

I smuggled skateboarding and sci-fi into the same New Yorker article.

This year may have lessons, but I didn’t learn them.

They say there’s no such thing as a perfect book, and yet…

The Past

It was an honor to get to throw Everything Abridged into the world this year. I think there’s something special in there. I hope you read it and agree.

The Future

New Exclusive Evil bonus article on January 2nd. Start things off on the right note.

I think I’ve left Eric in peace for a little too long.

The draft is good and weird.

One Sentence Reviews

Inside Job – Season 2: The failson of an entire satirical mode. (1.5/5)

Cyberpunk: Edgerunners: You know, if you like modern renditions of classic Cyberpunk, I know an interesting book. (4/5)

Jessi Klein – I Would Like to Get Married Before I Get Herpes: Time will reduce us all to cliches and ash. (2.5/5)

Lucian – The True History: The judgemental grandfather of an entire satirical mode. (4.5/5)

Open Question

Best Exclusive Evil of 2022?

Signing off

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