At the Library, Midterm Edition

Leon: Are you already done with everything?

Maxine: No, I’ve got to write three papers in about two days.

Leon: Why were you playing Arkham City all week?

Maxine: Why weren’t you playing Arkham City all week?!

–              –              –

Maria: Quick question.

Anya: Oh no.

Maria: I’m a little behind on this political theory stuff. Who was John Locke?

Anya: I think he invented modern economics.

Maria: You better not be screwing with me again.

Anya: Now why would I do that?

–              –              –

Rei: All right. It’s crunch time. We’ve got to focus.

Leto: I brought some mints.

Rei: NICE.

Leto: I bet I could fit five of these up my nose.

Rei: Don’t be an idiot.

Leto: Sorry.

Rei: There’s no way you could fit more than four.

Leto: Bull.

–              –              –

Maxine: First one’s done.

Leon: Already?

Maxine: Yep. I just argued that Macbeth is a Christ figure. It’ll get an A-.

Leon: How do you excel at not giving a shit?

Maxine: Practice. I’ve been phoning it in since middle school. I’d disillusioned with academia at a grad-school level.

–              –              –

Anya: Is Leto shoving mints up his nose?

Maria: Par for the course.

Anya: Is he retarded?

Maria: Not exactly. He just does what we use alcohol as an excuse for sober.

–              –              –

Rei:  The section on the French Revolution reads more like an obituary.

Leto: I think these are stuck.

Rei: I mean, Robespierre basically had a sexual relationship with the guillotine.

Leto: This could be a problem.

Rei: I bet there were sketches of headless loyalists hidden in his sock drawer.

Leto: This really hurts.

Rei: Don’t be a bitch.

–              –              –

Maxine: It’s that easy.

Leon: Ah, that makes sense.

Maxine: How are things with Maria?

Leon: We’re in a pretty good place.

Maxine: That’s nice. You busy after this?

Leon: A good place in which I will not cheat on her in exchange for take-home test help.

Maxine: Square.

–              –              –

Anya:  This could be bad.

Maria: What’s up?

Anya: Memorizing eight centuries of art history in one sitting isn’t exactly working out.

Maria: Try less textbook and more Wikipedia.

Anya: I tried that last semester. Turns out the article on cubism isn’t good enough to turn out a 3 page in-class essay.

–              –              –

Leto: FUCK!

Rei: Now press down the other nostril, and breath out the blocked one as hard as you can.

Leto: I think that’s the last one.

Rei: Six total. Pretty impressive.

Leto: I don’t feel impressive.

Rei: That’s just humility.

–              –              –

Leon: It sounds misandrist to me.

Maxine: I’m telling you, it’s true. Every idiotic blunder in history can be traced to isolated groups of young men.

Leon: Mm-hmm.

Maxine: Don’t make that sound. You’re not a black housewife. Anyway, here’s my point: you can’t leave boys alone in a room together. Something will come out on fire.

Leon: Where’d this mint come from? Is that mucus?

Maxine: …Exhibit A.

–              –              –

Anya: Do you ever worry about Leon always being around that girl?

Maria: Nope. They’re too alike.

Anya: I don’t get it.

Maria: Whatever TV might have told you, nobody wants to fuck their clone.

Anya: I would totally do that. Imagine-

Maria: I think this conversation is over.