Leon: Are you already done with everything?
Maxine: No, I’ve got to write three papers in about two days.
Leon: Why were you playing Arkham City all week?
Maxine: Why weren’t you playing Arkham City all week?!
– – –
Maria: Quick question.
Anya: Oh no.
Maria: I’m a little behind on this political theory stuff. Who was John Locke?
Anya: I think he invented modern economics.
Maria: You better not be screwing with me again.
Anya: Now why would I do that?
– – –
Rei: All right. It’s crunch time. We’ve got to focus.
Leto: I brought some mints.
Rei: NICE.
Leto: I bet I could fit five of these up my nose.
Rei: Don’t be an idiot.
Leto: Sorry.
Rei: There’s no way you could fit more than four.
Leto: Bull.
– – –
Maxine: First one’s done.
Leon: Already?
Maxine: Yep. I just argued that Macbeth is a Christ figure. It’ll get an A-.
Leon: How do you excel at not giving a shit?
Maxine: Practice. I’ve been phoning it in since middle school. I’d disillusioned with academia at a grad-school level.
– – –
Anya: Is Leto shoving mints up his nose?
Maria: Par for the course.
Anya: Is he retarded?
Maria: Not exactly. He just does what we use alcohol as an excuse for sober.
– – –
Rei: The section on the French Revolution reads more like an obituary.
Leto: I think these are stuck.
Rei: I mean, Robespierre basically had a sexual relationship with the guillotine.
Leto: This could be a problem.
Rei: I bet there were sketches of headless loyalists hidden in his sock drawer.
Leto: This really hurts.
Rei: Don’t be a bitch.
– – –
Maxine: It’s that easy.
Leon: Ah, that makes sense.
Maxine: How are things with Maria?
Leon: We’re in a pretty good place.
Maxine: That’s nice. You busy after this?
Leon: A good place in which I will not cheat on her in exchange for take-home test help.
Maxine: Square.
– – –
Anya: This could be bad.
Maria: What’s up?
Anya: Memorizing eight centuries of art history in one sitting isn’t exactly working out.
Maria: Try less textbook and more Wikipedia.
Anya: I tried that last semester. Turns out the article on cubism isn’t good enough to turn out a 3 page in-class essay.
– – –
Leto: FUCK!
Rei: Now press down the other nostril, and breath out the blocked one as hard as you can.
Leto: I think that’s the last one.
Rei: Six total. Pretty impressive.
Leto: I don’t feel impressive.
Rei: That’s just humility.
– – –
Leon: It sounds misandrist to me.
Maxine: I’m telling you, it’s true. Every idiotic blunder in history can be traced to isolated groups of young men.
Leon: Mm-hmm.
Maxine: Don’t make that sound. You’re not a black housewife. Anyway, here’s my point: you can’t leave boys alone in a room together. Something will come out on fire.
Leon: Where’d this mint come from? Is that mucus?
Maxine: …Exhibit A.
– – –
Anya: Do you ever worry about Leon always being around that girl?
Maria: Nope. They’re too alike.
Anya: I don’t get it.
Maria: Whatever TV might have told you, nobody wants to fuck their clone.
Anya: I would totally do that. Imagine-
Maria: I think this conversation is over.
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