Today’s Fortune: Never leave for tomorrow what you can ignore forever.
It’s the primaries, unless you don’t get the day off.
You lost the god-given right to attempt to assassinate a governor.
HBO Max got poisoned by it’s aunt-in-law.
Bombing enthusiast Darya Dugina was enthusiastically bombed.
It’s a bad month to be a Nicaraguan priest.
Scientists may soon recreate ancient cricket chirps for modern sleepers.
I’m in India! Currently zoning out in the nicest hotel room I’ve ever had the chance to ruin. I don’t have a plan, per se, but a list of locations that people will mock me if I miss.
It’s for the second wedding this month. I’m enjoying the streak, but running out of couples in my orbit to feed me alcohol. I may start a dating service to keep the wine flowing. Think Hinge, but it works.
Sleeping through flights is my one physical gift, unless pain tolerance counts. Everything I heard about Air India today sounds like an interrogation. I wouldn’t know, because I dreamed of old Dynasty Warriors games throughout.
People, collectively, got a little smarter when media conglomerates tipped their hand and started using terms like “content” with their customers. Let’s get that started in other industries. Imagine how much further along we’d be if the company slang for “food addiction” and “climate apocalypse crybaby” were in commercials.
My next column might be out by the time this rolls, but here’s i tell C for now.
The feedback on Everything Abridged makes me feel better about life. Be careful, you might ruin the next book.
Ever wonder what the Founders would want you to eat for lunch?
Poking at something that may be an Exclusive Evil post soon.
A New Yorker riff comes out tomorrow. I’d hold off until then, but being late makes me antsy.
One Sentence Reviews
Air India: Still better than Spirit. (2/5)
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