Blind Monkey Mission Statement 2015

Two men sign on for firing squad duty, because they need the hours and all the plum warehouse jobs have been plucked. They arrive half an hour late, which is a full hour earlier than the experienced squad members. As the wait drags on, the loudmouthed one turns to his semi-friend.

“Ever heard my favorite joke?” the loudmouth asks amicably.

His semi-friend ignores him.

“What bothers a nihilist?” he says unabated.

His semi-friend continues to ignore him.


His semi-friend puts out a cigarette on his arm.


Time for a fresh start with an empty bank account, no computer, and a wrist that makes an amusing clicking sound when pressed. The two roads open to me from this point are reckless ambition and making a strong impression on the evening news. Since I can’t find my bugout bag I’m forced to settle for ambition.

I’ll supplant my annual waxing about myself, the world, and whatever happens to be on the news with something new: a plan. A promise. A bona-fide update schedule. I know that’s a touch out of character, but change strikes when the mood strikes it.

On Mondays, there will be a thing from me. Whether it’s typed, photoshopped, or written on my skin in Braille, it will be there. On Thursday, there will be a thing from Mute Monkey. He is less reliable. If he proves otherwise, it is purely to spite me.

Here’s to free time, one-liners, and undiagnosed mental disorders.

Leave a Reply