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CNN raised non-apology standards.
If we default, support Extra Evil in Euros, Yuan, or potable water.
Eurovision expressed solidarity with the war contestants couldn’t mention.
Ghana and The British Museum debated the exact meaning of “theft.”
Chain stores you haven’t entered in a decade may be in trouble.
A dirty bomb treatment entered trials. Probably fine.
Everything Else, Round 6
We’re halfway through! And it’s only cost my mind and global shipping fees.
I stared at the finalists here for a while. The laugh rule won out. Round V’s triumphant winner of Everything Abridged in paperback is:
Somehow, I missed that in my short Catholic school stint. Awesome work all around.
Now, this week’s definition:
To be clear: define “Ecocide” in a comment and be funnier than other people, and you win a book. The best book, in all the book-reading lands.
I exhausted my Mother’s Day navel-gazing early, and feel out of sync. I think it’s holiday jet lag. At this rate I’ll pass Halloween before the first firework. Hopefully skipping Father’s Day again puts me back on schedule.
I could’ve sworn I had a hairline.
A CostCo case of Celsius sounds like a problem. But I haven’t missed a newsletter yet.
I dig the orange flavor. The taste says “literary procrastinator.” Without it, I feel spiders.
I’ve stumbled into some Fantastic Four anthologies. Inventive stuff, with genuine spirit. It also ages amusingly.
Me: “Odd. Johnny Storm’s way smarter here. These teams normally have a designated idiot.”
60’s Sue Storm: “Egad! I’ve slipped on a leaf and broken my leg! If only a brilliant stretching man could help.”
Me: “Ah, I see.”
If Mom were around, I hope she’d only be mortified at half my work.
Learn about failure and pranks in the new Expensive Evil.
My latest New Yorker cameo focuses on the big issues.
4chan’s video game board made an album. Yearly. For a decade. Behold the flames.
Remember, attraction is an illusion from the devil to steal your seed.
Another Wednesday, another naked Everything Abridged plug.
The best breakup I’ve ever seen.
I’ve got a short and an Expensive Evil in the works, but life is getting in the way from every possible angle.
Chipping away at some scripts. Standard life in the word mines.
Potential news next month! Or sooner. Or later. Time is odd.
One Sentence Reviews
Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3: Suicide Squad meets Watership Down. (4/5)
Retrying TikTok: Circling the drain as quickly as the old guard. (1/5)
Oshi No Ko: Pure soap opera madness. (Drama/5)
The Boys – Diabolical: The Looney Tunes throwback is a highlight. (3.5/5)
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