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Newsreel
If America defaults, you can buy a Dakota.
The Surgeon General suggested teens torment each other in person.
Max ditched HBO’s letters and goodwill.
South Carolina banned abortion between Georgia and North Carolina.
A new black dictionary has 35 words for pandering.
We may send Ukraine Ace Combat 7 planes.
Everything Else, Round 7
This round kicked ass, full stop. “Ecocide” definitions were high-class diss tracks to the human spirit. Round VI’s invincible champion—winner of Everything Abridged in paperback—is:
You’d think Peter Parker would know publishing better.
Now, this week’s definition:
To be clear: define “slur” in a comment and be funnier than other people, and you win Everything Abridged. The only book there is.
Today’s Mood
War Journal
Enjoying the Gattaca prequel? A film or miniseries would’ve been too typical. A live, worldwide event? That’s novel.
Fair warning: you know how live cyberpunk has all the megacorps, and none of the katanas? Live biopunk has all the social stratification, and no Uma Thurman. Sorry.
I’m about halfway through Michael Estrin’s Not Safe For Work, and it’s a great ride. That’s not obligatory hype, my social skills aren’t that good. If he whiffed, I’d just go back to yammering about Cyberpunk 2077. As for paid promo, no one’s heard my price without smacking me.
It follows a porn reporter’s pursuit of a “real” story, while noting who gets to be a real story. Or real citizen. Moreover, it captures being stuck well. While my desk was much duller, I can relate to exile and stagnation.
I do okay with the public, because I love attention. Sweet, life-giving, bountiful attention. But it burns some people alive.
Remember Fez? Brilliant time. If it came out when artists had private lives, the designer would still smile on occasion. Instead, he wrestled the dumbest dregs of a dumb community, before exploding into light. I wish that story were less common.
Well, I scavenged a free Reunions ticket. Number ten.
Maybe I’ll stay home.
Maybe I’ll fistfight [REDACTED A-LIST LITERATI FIGUREHEAD].
Maybe I’ll enjoy Illuminati Woodstock.
Maybe I’ll flip around shirtless with my book screaming “I win. ME. I. WIN. None of you overcompetitive, petty, self-obsessed lunatics can survive my radiant light—oh shit.”
The Present
It’d make my afternoon if you read the free half of this. I’m very proud of it.
Kids are amusing, but ranting’s good for business.
This is my craziest HOTDOG column without international implications.
With the qualifier that Bible-botherers derange our international behavior.
It’s never too late for another copy of Everything Abridged.
The Past
Last year, a ninja manual took me places.
The Future
This week’s dense. New 1900HOTDOG and The New Yorker ish landing.
This week’s super dense. I’ll be announcing a major success or catastrophe by the end.
I’m spinning some fun Exclusive Evil and Expensive Evil offerings. Watch your inbox.
One Sentence Reviews
Conan the Barbarian: Steel for the soul. (5/5)
Mulligan: Wasted premise, wasted time. (1.5/5)
Wanda Sykes – I’m an Entertainer: The title joke kills. (3.5/5)
NJPW – Best of the Super Juniors 2023: Some people live in no-clip mode. (Zoom/5)
Open Question
Signing off
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-DD