As we all know, I’m a font of psychic faith and power. The stars speak to me, even when I’m […]
Tag: see more evil
Thank You for Eating Tide Pods
I didn’t enjoy December. After my relationship and place of work ceased to exist, my mother followed suit. Three days […]
I Don’t Take It Easy
Like any productive member of society, I do my laundry around 2:50 am. It used to be for the silence, […]
The App You Didn’t Ask For
For my latest trick, I’m proud to present Sambo, a freelance labor app with a crowd-pleasing twist. Please direct all letter bombs […]
More Ruthless Self-Promotion
While my fiction’s far and away the least popular feature on the site, there’s some news about it. I’m going […]
Hollywood Speaks Out Against Imperiex the Destroyer, Slayer of Apes
You’re a beautiful audience. Not as beautiful as me, or even my stunt double, but beautiful nonetheless. In a difficult […]
Sheepdog Journal — Director’s Cut
I retooled my Twitter tale a bit. Enjoy the fancy new transitions. Day three in the field, and I’m still […]
Blind Monkey (Almost) Wins a Contest
I recently won a science fiction short story contest. (Editor’s note: Fourth place.) Gaze in wonder upon my work on […]
A Suggestion for the New Management
Congratulations. Now that your victory lap is over, it’s time to consider what comes next. You have a proven fondness for aphorisms, […]
Blind Monkey Becomes a Psychic, Part One
You don’t need to join a cult if you’ve lost control of your life. Just read the stars. The horoscope’s […]
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