Welcome to the last Black History Month. I’m ending it by touring the South, to talk about the Civil War. […]
Site Stuff
Maintenance, news, etc.
Learn to Dodge a Cannonball
I tend to avoid answering “Why?” It’s a fine question. I tell odd jokes. You might enjoy the fake signs, […]
How to Dodge a Cannonball
I love it.
I Talk About My Favorite Person
New interview! It’s a big week, stay tuned.
4chan’s Annual Musical
I’m digging to the bottom of reality before 2024.
Everything Else
My perfect book, Everything Abridged, claims to define everything. But it turns out I missed exactly ten things. Every Wednesday, […]
Life Without Everything Abridged is Empty
New paperback, new stories, new definitions. What more is there to mortal existence?
More Everything, Even More Abridged
As I’ve said one or six thousand times, Everything Abridged is the best thing I’ve written. Now it’s coming in […]
My 1-900-HOTDOG Greatest Hits
1-900-HOTDOG did a truly generous countdown of my best columns of the year. For the last endorphins on the internet, […]
The Book Launch to End All Book Launches
Free diamonds and cocaine will be distributed. Get your ticket now (it helps me out).

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