At the Movies: Moonrise Kingdom

A story of love, childhood, and stabbing another child with scissors to escape the authorities.

To recover from Spider-man’s train wreck, the trio try a movie that looks like at least one person gave a shit..

Cammy: Movie of the year. Every year.

Alan: That’s nice. Where the hell is my car?

Byron: I thought the first act dragged a bit, but I really enjoyed it. It was charming.

Alan:  If you two could hop off of Wes Anderson’s dick for a moment, I’m trying to get us home.

Byron: Come on. Even you had to have enjoyed that a little.

Alan: It was fine.

Cammy: It was glorious.

Byron: Is she okay?

Alan: Has she ever been okay?

Cammy: I’m still here.

Alan: Great. You can help me find the Volvo.

Byron: Didn’t that put you in a better mood?

Alan: It was trying a bit too hard to be precious for my taste.

Cammy: That’s because you don’t have a soul.

Alan: Fair.

Cammy: And?

Alan: It’s the best thing in theaters.

Cammy: And?

Alan: Do you want to walk home?

Cammy: Come on.

Alan: It’s the best thing in theaters. There. The best in months, really. But that movie was at serious risk of disappearing up its own ass.

Byron: I loved the insane preteen scouts. It reminded me of my own troop.

Cammy: Pardon?

Byron: We were armed to the teeth. I think my bunkmate had a switchblade.

Cammy: …

Byron: It was a different time.

Cammy: We’re nineteen. How different could it have been?

Byron: 9/11 changed everything.

Cammy: I don’t think it changed concealed weapon laws. For children.

Byron: Well…how about that Wes Anderson flick? Nice visuals. It reminded me of…art things.

Alan: It reminded me of every other movie he’s ever made.

Cammy: I smell heresy.

Alan: Historically interchangeable with truth.

Byron: The Volvo’s over there. You double parked.

Alan: I like to have a buffer state.

Byron: Someone’s going to slash your tires one day.

Alan: Where are my keys?

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