My Expenses Since New York Legalized Nunchucks

The future is upon us.

Nunchucks, Foam – $26

Groceries – $90

MetroCard – $130

Nunchucks, Wooden – $37

Pro-Chucker’s Guide to Chucking, by Andy “Shinobi Zero” Leeman – $12

Rite Aid Home First Aid Kit – $19

Bathroom Mirror Repair, $253

Phone Bill – $110

Nunchucks, Metal – $55

Pro-Chucker’s Chuckin’ Gloves – $22

Bruce Lee Anniversary Collection, Blu-Ray – $40

Plasma Screen TV Repair – $623

Glow-in-the-Dark “Ravechucks” – $70

Neon Face Paint – $16

Pacifier – $2

Wild Turkey Whiskey – $33

Pro-Chucker’s Cast-Iron “Darkchucks” – $322

Domino Mask – $24

Handheld Police Scanner – $28

NYU Langone Urgent Care – $600

Diesel-powered “Dragonslayer” Nunchucks – $702

Bail – $4000

Leon & Cartwright, Attorneys at Law – $6311

Hickory Farms Holiday Sausage Set – $35

Two Rulers – $6

Nylon String – $4

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