Brought to you by this train’s dispatcher.
Thank You for Eating Tide Pods
I didn’t enjoy December. After my relationship and place of work ceased to exist, my mother followed suit. Three days before Christmas. As you can imagine, I’ve been in a […]
Headlines from 2020
Since the world happens to be on fire, I’ve put together a look forward at the ashes. I’m proud to present Headlines from 2020, a Twitter feed depicting the next exciting episode […]
I Don’t Take It Easy
Like any productive member of society, I do my laundry around 2:50 am. It used to be for the silence, now it’s simple routine. I could change, but then I […]
The App You Didn’t Ask For
For my latest trick, I’m proud to present Sambo, a freelance labor app with a crowd-pleasing twist. Please direct all letter bombs to the proper channels.
More Ruthless Self-Promotion
While my fiction’s far and away the least popular feature on the site, there’s some news about it. I’m going to be in Between the Lines Publishing’s 2017 Fairty Tale […]
Steve Bannon’s Murder Shed
We pride ourselves on our journalistic rigor. Most of our content’s made up, but we stringently follow the Associated Press style guide. It’s a competitive time for reporters. Anyone within […]
Hollywood Speaks Out Against Imperiex the Destroyer, Slayer of Apes
You’re a beautiful audience. Not as beautiful as me, or even my stunt double, but beautiful nonetheless. In a difficult time, beauty matters. I’d love to focus on my success: […]
Sheepdog Journal — Director’s Cut
I retooled my Twitter tale a bit. Enjoy the fancy new transitions. Day three in the field, and I’m still pumped. I’ve got my own set of armor and everything. […]
Matchbook Makes a Mistake
Against their better judgement, Matchbook Lit Mag recently published a story of mine. Take a look here.