“New Year, New You!” the mediocre wit repeats between mouthfuls of diet pills. As the hung-over marketers of the world slowly recover from their holiday binges, hearing these words serves […]
Charisma Is Not A Dump Stat
Honesty is a disability. The honest are at a terminal disadvantage in their careers, love lives, and ability to get away with high-profile crimes. We all feel the urge to […]
Blind Monkey Mission Statement 2015
Two men sign on for firing squad duty, because they need the hours and all the plum warehouse jobs have been plucked. They arrive half an hour late, which is […]
At the Movies: Foodfight!
The return of the last three twenty year olds on Earth paying for movies. Our heroes are: Alan: Sour grape. Byron: Pop rocks and cola. Cammy: Special brownies. Byron lies […]
Flaying Detainees Alive Was A National Security Necessity
From the desk of Agent Redacted, Armchair generals are quick to pass judgment on the CIA for flaying prisoners. These bleeding hearts (figuratively, unlike facility six detainees) have no grasp […]
Injustice For All, Part Nineteen
This is your brain on comic edits.
MWT’S Fall 2014 Catalog
We’re halfway through Injustice: Year One. Time for a commercial break.
Injustice For All, Part Eighteen
I now pronounce you terrible comic and Photoshop parody.
Delete Your Blog
Five years ago, my father told me to give up. In the near future, everyone would be qualified as a writer because everyone would have a voice. As the world […]
Happy Fourth, Everyone Gets A Free Drone Strike
The Fourth of July is about appreciating the healing power of jingoism. The term gets thrown around, but few Americans understand jingoism’s cultural importance. In their defense, this is because […]