I’ve got a new article up on Points in Case. Reading it cures most forms of modern and postmodern malaise.
Tag: satire
This Relationship Doesn’t Bring Me Joy
You were right: I’ve been closed-minded. After you donated a stack of my late aunt’s books to make space, I finally understand the value of tidying up. Sadly, I’ll be […]
The Dollar Shave Club Pivots
FADE IN: Dramatic music swells. A mixed couple walks down the street, discussing nothing in particular. NARRATOR We’re better than this. A woman in a hijab uses a vending machine. […]
My Expenses Since New York Legalized Nunchucks
Nunchucks, Foam – $26 Groceries – $90 MetroCard – $130 Nunchucks, Wooden – $37 Pro-Chucker’s Guide to Chucking, by Andy “Shinobi Zero” Leeman – $12 Rite Aid Home First Aid […]
Albums of the Year Lists, Decoded
10) The Rumor: This artist opens half the other lists, but you can’t find them anywhere else. You’d think it was a prank, but none of these people have met. […]
A Comprehensive List of When You Can Say Nigga
You’re a professional movie critic. You draw the short straw and spend Friday night watching Tyler Perry’s latest failure. As Madea shimmies to Gucci Gang one year too late, you […]
I’m on McSweeney’s
After a few dozen attempts, I have a piece up on McSweeney’s. Have a look.
Why Do Journalists Keep Jumping onto My Trench Knife?
It seemed like a coincidence at first. I’d just finished cleaning my favorite carbon steel trench knife on the walk home from work. The job’s stressful, and cleaning my knives […]
Please Install Our App
We’re glad you’re enjoying our website. We worked pretty hard on it. You know what we worked harder on? The app. Please install it. It has all of the site’s […]
My Dungeons and Dragons Character Class Exonerates Me
I stand accused of burning down the 23rd St. Shake Shack on August 23, 2013. I do not dispute that the arson occurred. The ashen husk of the burger franchise […]