Another birthday. I could tell you about all my personal growth, if I was a liar. I hold myself to a higher standard. Over the last year, I have learned […]
Tag: satire
Thank You for Eating Tide Pods
I didn’t enjoy December. After my relationship and place of work ceased to exist, my mother followed suit. Three days before Christmas. As you can imagine, I’ve been in a […]
Steve Bannon’s Murder Shed
We pride ourselves on our journalistic rigor. Most of our content’s made up, but we stringently follow the Associated Press style guide. It’s a competitive time for reporters. Anyone within […]
Hollywood Speaks Out Against Imperiex the Destroyer, Slayer of Apes
You’re a beautiful audience. Not as beautiful as me, or even my stunt double, but beautiful nonetheless. In a difficult time, beauty matters. I’d love to focus on my success: […]
Sheepdog Journal — Director’s Cut
I retooled my Twitter tale a bit. Enjoy the fancy new transitions. Day three in the field, and I’m still pumped. I’ve got my own set of armor and everything. […]
Sheepdog Journal
An uplifting story about police brutality and more police brutality. Written for my Twitter, before I deleted all my old inania. Have fun with it. Day three in the field, […]
Blind Monkey Finds God
The whole stupid journey started on a New Jersey highway. Driving in that state is a form of suicide, or at least a cry for help. Take all the love […]
Blind Monkey Becomes a Psychic, Part Two
The sun had betrayed us all. It was 6 PM at Union Square, which counted as high noon in the heat. The weather was undeniable evidence that the time of […]
Blind Monkey Becomes a Psychic, Part One
You don’t need to join a cult if you’ve lost control of your life. Just read the stars. The horoscope’s a modern miracle: a daily glimpse into the future, based […]
MWT’s Summer 2015 Catalog
The photoshop must flow.