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Author: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)

Articles

Angry Day

Right now, Febuary 14 is a celebration of love and a dead priest. In the interest of keeping the scales balanced, I’d like to offer an alternative holiday. A day […]

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: February 14, 2012February 14, 2012
Articles

The Chris Dodd Show

MPAA Chairman CHRIS DODD lounges on a sedan chair held by four handmaidens. A book called “The Scrooge McDuck Guide to Life” rests in his lap. A young studio EXECUTIVE […]

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: February 1, 2012February 1, 2012
Movies , MWT TV

Underworld Awakening Trailer Redub

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: January 13, 2012November 24, 2012
At the Movies , Movies

At the Movies

Alan, Byron, and Cammy stand at the end of a line in the snow. Alan looks pissed off, Byron looks cold, and Cammy looks tipsy. A: Why are we here? […]

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: December 29, 2011November 1, 2013
Articles

Four Sentences to Avoid in Mad Science

Take a look at this scenario: This man’s life used to be in order. Now he’s making an army of giant radioactive jungle fauna. Within moments, a protagonist will be […]

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: December 21, 2011December 21, 2011
Articles

Five Top Five of 2011 Lists

Five Worst Songs “Moves like Jagger” by Maroon 5 – Maroon 5 somehow found a way to get worse. I have a habit of comparing bad pop music to venereal […]

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: December 11, 2011December 11, 2011
Articles

Youtube’s Guide to Constructive Feedback

As a freshman, I made this Nostalgia Critic ripoff. It was fashionable at the time. The video has a long laundry list of problems. The topic is dull, the audio […]

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: December 10, 2011December 10, 2011
Articles

Metaphysical Therapy: 11 Obscure Religions

I’m neutral towards the gods, spirits, and saints of the global religious canon. Pascal offered me a wager, but I don’t gamble. Like many others, I enjoy my pork and […]

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: November 17, 2011November 17, 2011
Articles , Comics

A Cynic’s Guide to Comic Book Movies: Marvel

Blade Wesley Snipes makes vampires cool again. Look where that got us. Blade 2 & Trinity Every possible camera angle for stabbing a vampire is used and reused. Spider-Man Peter […]

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: November 3, 2011November 3, 2011
Articles

At the Library, Midterm Edition

Leon: Are you already done with everything? Maxine: No, I’ve got to write three papers in about two days. Leon: Why were you playing Arkham City all week? Maxine: Why […]

by: Dennard Dayle (Blind Monkey)Posted on: October 31, 2011October 31, 2011

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"It made me the man I am today."
-Conan the Barbarian
"I never knew reading Everything Abridged would make me so much stronger, faster, more virile."
-John Matrix
 
 
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