Meanwhile, at the library Jenna: You ever wonder if- Peter: Nope. We’ve got five more chapters to run through, followed by two papers and a problem set. I don’t wonder […]
Articles
Satire on a fifth-grade level.
Target of the Week: Horatio Alger
Mocking a dead man is the ultimate form of kicking someone while they’re down. Luckily, I don’t have anything resembling a sense of honor. As far as I’m concerned, throwing […]
Ask Doctor Maximus: Round Three
The mad scientist returns to dispense advice to the unwashed masses. Dear Doctor Maximus, Every year, my family gets together at the local park just to spend three hours screaming […]
Ask Doctor Maximus: Back to School Edition
How do I talk to girls at parties? I’d like to meet someone nice. And use them for sex, but I assume that’s obvious. -Pietro Parker I’d recommend breeding a […]
2177 Channel Guide
Congratulations on choosing HyperTV for your 5D viewing needs! With six thousand channels in forty real languages and eight imaginary ones, we guarantee that you won’t regret your choice. Here […]
Ask Doctor Maximus
I think that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. How should I confront him? -Lila This problem, like most others in life, can be solved with a freeze ray. […]
Five Reasons You Should Join A Cult
Some of you are going through a rough patch. The symptoms are varied. They could be unemployment, madness, a hangnail, or an addiction to bath salts. Yet the key factor […]
An Open Letter to Pop Lyricists
If the old “Lyrics Slaughterhouse” segment demonstrated one thing, it’s that Katy Perry needs to have her vocal chords revoked. But that’s not important right now. If it demonstrated a […]
A Comprehensive List of Avatars
Avatar Kimura: Charged an exorbitant fee for every act of heroism. This bankrupted the Southern Water Tribe, forcing them to sell their towering spires and move into ice hovels. Avatar […]
Trayvon Toons
As an American black male, I have the life expectancy of a fruit fly. Unless I have the good fortune to spend a few decades in prison. So you can […]