After descending into the depths of retro kitsch, our heroes’ laziness has finally reached its peak. They have become one with the couch. From their perspective, they have never been […]
Clandestine, Part Five
“We deserve better than this,” I said between coughs. The lights were dim, but I could make out the faces of my companions perfectly. Mae certainly looked like she agreed, […]
At the Movies: Death Race 2000
A week after jumpstarting Cammy’s heart using a failed musical, our heroes are gathered on the couch. They revel in mutual unemployment, slowly working permanent grooves into the cushions. Byron: […]
Ask Doctor Maximus
I think that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. How should I confront him? -Lila This problem, like most others in life, can be solved with a freeze ray. […]
At the Movies: Repo! The Genetic Opera
After watching Christopher Nolan’s bank account grow in real time, Alan sleeps peacefully. His dreams about Catwoman’s jumpsuit are interrupted by furious knocking. Alan: It’s 2 AM. If it isn’t […]
At the Movies: The Dark Knight Rises
Since Alan now refuses to drive, our heroes are joined by Cammy’s older brother Dominic. Cammy stands four feet behind him to avoid association with his costume. Alan is less […]
Birth of a Fire Nation
I imagine you can find this on any Fire Nation bookcase.
Five Reasons You Should Join A Cult
Some of you are going through a rough patch. The symptoms are varied. They could be unemployment, madness, a hangnail, or an addiction to bath salts. Yet the key factor […]
At the Movies: Moonrise Kingdom
To recover from Spider-man’s train wreck, the trio try a movie that looks like at least one person gave a shit.. Cammy: Movie of the year. Every year. Alan: That’s […]
At the Movies: The Amazing Spider-Man
Ignoring the lessons of the past, Alan, Byron, and Cammy return to the cinema. Alan: This is going to suck shit through a straw. Cammy: You say that about everything. […]