Subscribing refills the ocean. Newsreel Tucker Carlson’s texts abandoned subtext. Someone said the shootings can’t get worse. Match Group left Russia, impoverishing countless catfish. Independent generals promised to defend Sudan […]
Re: Your Baby
More of my antics in The New Yorker. It’s a fun one.
4chan’s Annual Musical
I’m digging to the bottom of reality before 2024.
Extra Evil – Mission Accomplice
Subscribing refills the ocean. Newsreel Fox News paid Dominion a dollar per dogwhistle. We’ll have Evan Gershkovich back by 2099. The Times still reports hate crimes as awkwardly as possible. […]
Everything Else
My perfect book, Everything Abridged, claims to define everything. But it turns out I missed exactly ten things. Every Wednesday, for the next ten weeks, I’m posting one of the […]
Life Without Everything Abridged is Empty
New paperback, new stories, new definitions. What more is there to mortal existence?
Opera Murder and You
You know what’s terrible about getting exclusive hilarity like this on my newsletter? Me neither.
Yes, I Did Lose a Shirt Like This
And no, I didn’t take it as seriously.
Extra Evil – Alternative Titles
Subscribing would make me feel better. Newsreel Finland joined our atomic dodgeball team. A narcissist was punished with attention. Johnson & Johnson offered 9 billion for headlines without “baby cancer.” […]
Extra Evil – All Prayers, No Thoughts
Get these in your inbox! Slay God! Be free! Newsreel No innocent lobbies were harmed this week. American volunteers brought our signature generosity, humility, and intellect to Ukraine. Nintendo finally […]